Ooooh � brick being laid at the stadium today. How very exciting! We bet next week they're gonna let the public come and watch the paint dry. We're getting sick of the hype train that is TCF Bank Stadium, mainly because the team that's gonna head out onto the new green grass is going to stink.

From Slainte

First, I must address some Dailey stupidity. Net: Umm � so do we, now that you mention it: What the NUTT is Dailey?!? The correct spelling is WORCESTER. Kind of like Worcestershire sauce. Net: We don't know what the hell is in it either, but it tastes delicious. And it's pronounced Wuh- stah for those not in the know. Net: Just like that former Red Sox shortstop, NOMAH!!! Second, I have a great way to ease the U's financial burden Net: Why not just become Coca-Cola 'U' already? albeit a season late. Turn down the damn heat. Jesus Christ. Net: He could turn water into wine, but we doubt Bruininks would let him touch the thermostat. Let me explain this, when the temperature is at ball retraction levels outside Net: Must be a technical Paul Douglas term or something. it does not need to be 80 degrees inside. Sixty- five feels plenty warm enough in that scenario. I feel like I should be dressed only in a towel in half of the classrooms. Net: No one else feels that way about you � trust us. Lastly, the best season of sports is upon us: NHL playoffs and Red Sox baseball. Net: If hockey happens in an arena but no one watches, does it still make a sound? Certainly eases the sting of yet another mediocre year of Gopher sports. Net: Hey, we had a coach talk about going to Pasadena and even bring back a piece of their turf. That's definitely better than mediocre.

From Dan Ketchum

Network, I warned you! CSCL students don't hug trees--they write beautiful essays on paper from said trees. Net: Yeah, and your women-folk also don't shave their pits. What's your point? You know what's next...

From: CSCL is better than you

Go, Charizard! Charizard used Flamethrower! It's not very effective...Enemy Network used hipster B.S.! Enemy Network's attack missed! Good job, Charizard! Go, Squirtle! Enemy Network used Ignorant Prattle! Enemy Network is confused! Enemy Network hurt itself in its confusion! Squirtle used Bubblebeam! It's super effective! A critical hit! Enemy Network is about to use Bad Writing. Switch Pok�mon? Yes. Go, Ivysaur! Ivysaur used Razor Leaf!

Enemy Network fainted! What? Ivysaur is evolving!

BumBumBumBumBumBumBumBUUUMBumBumBumBumBumBumBumBUUUM...Ivysaur evolved into Venusaur! Network sucks. Go, Dr. Date! Now THIS is Podracing! Net: You have to be the dumbest person on the entire campus. You make DJ Jones look smart. You make the rest of the CSCL department look less shitty. You make Doctor Date look like a player. You make Wan Dolter look like less of a tool. Our point? You are worthless. Pok�mon?!? Really?!? What grade are you in? Good luck EVER getting a date with your stack of Pikachu cards, loser. And by the way, if you ever came up to us in person and started using "Flamethrowers," "Bubblebeams" or "Razor Leafs," we'd maul your ugly face off. Good day.