May has started, which means that we're quickly running out of May and I don't want May to end because that means summer is here and OH FUCK GOD PLEASE NOT AGAIN.
You childless people don't understand summer. You think summer is so awesome because you get to wear skimpy clothing and rent out timeshares in some beach town and throw parties where you hollow out an ice luge and all your buddies take turns CRUSHING Firewater shots. Well, fuck you. Enjoy summer while you can, before it turns on you and digs its heel into your ASS. More »
