Category Archives: DBA Humor
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Microsoft buys the dictionary
3April 1, 2015 by Kenneth Fisher
It seems that Microsoft has finally gotten tired of all the jokes about the word “performant” or using “ask” as …
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Tales of a DBA fed up with NOLOCK. Part 1
36February 16, 2015 by Kenneth Fisher
Nov 12, 2014 Dear Diary, They asked for help again. Every now and again everything slows down and they see …
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‘Twas 4:45 Friday
2December 16, 2014 by Kenneth Fisher
‘Twas 4:45 Friday, and all through the office not a creature was stirring, not even the bosses. The code was …
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Argenis and the unicorn hoodie
Leave a commentJuly 2, 2014 by Kenneth Fisher
Early yesterday Kirsten Benzel(b/t) announced something very exciting, at least exciting to me. Argenis Fernandez(b/t) has agreed to wear a …
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T-SQL Tuesday #54: Interviews!
1May 13, 2014 by Kenneth Fisher
It’s T-SQL Tuesday again and this month our host is Boris Hristov (b/t). He has asked us to discuss Interviewing. …
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Why is there a sysobjects when we already have sys.objects?
Leave a commentMay 5, 2014 by Kenneth Fisher
Once upon a time in a version of SQL far far away we had system tables that were easy to …
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T-SQL Tuesday #53: Why so serious
5April 8, 2014 by Kenneth Fisher
Why so serious? If you ask anyone who knows me they will tell you I’m not a terribly serious person. …
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Microsoft announces that it will no longer support SQL Server and that SQL 2014 was an April Fools Joke!
4April 1, 2014 by Kenneth Fisher
Microsoft has announced that SQL 2014 was in fact an elaborate April Fool’s joke and that Microsoft intends to move …
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T-SQL Tuesday #52: Keep your head down!
1March 11, 2014 by Kenneth Fisher
It is T-SQL Tuesday again and this month we are taking the road less traveled. Michael J Swart (b/t) has …
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The 12 days after release
3December 24, 2013 by Kenneth Fisher
On the first day after release my developer gave to me a performance problem on a crucial query On …
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